Pockets of Kindness
25/9/2021 (3.15 PM) — As I hurriedly rummage through my purse for change, the auto driver tells me that the nearest railway station to my destination wasn't the one I just came from. Then for the next 4 and a half minutes, he goes an elaborate monologue on the ideal route for my return trip like it was the most natural thing he could've done. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t but I just end up grinning under my mask and saying thank you.
2/11/21 (5.45 PM) — I turn up the volume to make sure that the music is just loud enough to block the monotony of the walk that I’m taking for the 7th time that week. I try to stop myself from instinctively peaking through the window of the tiny shop where a grumpy old man sells pickles, but I fail. Unsurprisingly, I catch him glaring at me with stone cold eyes. But surprisingly, I spot him arranging stacks and stacks of labelled clothes and fabrics on his counter which is usually filled with crockery. I wonder why.
Just as I was about to paint my mental canvas with hypothetical assumptions, I notice the tailor next door sheepishly walk in with one more stack of clothes. A little strange, but I've seen stranger things, so I move on. A few steps later, it all makes sense when I catch a glimpse of the tailors tiny messy shop. With the wedding season approaching, I gather that the tailor’s little shop couldn't contain the volume of orders that were coming his way.
Just the thought of the grumpy old man (who probably has never smiled in his life) helping the tailor out when he didn't necessarily ‘need’ to, made the 7th walk of the week worth the monotony of the last six.
28/11/21 (6.30PM)— I’m standing alone outside my CAT exam center, gulping down the disappointment of the last 2 hours with a bottle of orange juice. {Pointless cinematic context to aid visualization ahead, please skip if you're expecting it to contribute to the anecdote:) So for example, if this was an opening shot in a movie, it would probably be a top angle shot at the location, hundreds of aspirants aimlessly walking out through the front gate, and slowly the camera starts zooming into the protagonist (me) and the crowd blurs out of focus}
So, I’m walking out and this girl walking next to me randomly strikes up a conversation. After a couple of minutes or so of small talk, she ends up telling me that I have pretty eyes mid sentence before walking away. I sometimes wonder if that November evening was a little too dark for her to notice how my eyes lit up when she said that.
1/1/22: (1.15 am) — On new year’s eve, just as I was about to drift off to sleep after replying to a dozen generic happy new year messages, I receive a mail notification. I'm almost on the verge of dismissing it, because checking my email is probably the last thing I would want to start my year with, but I open it anyway.
It turns out to be a cute gratifying email about me from a junior of mine whom I've hardly personally interacted with. She didn't ‘need’ to write me that email, it probably wouldn't have made a difference. But she did and it did make a difference. After days of being consumed in self doubt, I slept feeling slightly better about myself that night.
There's something very endearing about kindness when you find it in places, where you didn't expect it to be found. While warmth from our family, friends and people close to us does feel great, but somehow the feeling when we’re caught off guard with unexpected gentle interactions with people who don't fit into the larger narrative of our lives, is heartwarming.
I strongly believe that kindness is not a virtue that you are born with. What you are born with, is the capacity to be kind, then your expression of it is a choice. I also believe it takes practice, just like everything else in the world. You have to teach yourself to make that conscious choice of being kind, especially when you don’t need to.
“It costs nothing to be kind” — I have read this phrase on the internet a bunch of times and honestly I disagree. It costs you your time, energy and the alternative of not extending that gesture. The fact that you still choose to, is what makes it worth that cost.
*Spent the last 30 mins staring at my screen, trying to come up with an apt closing statement, but nothing seems to fit, so this is it I guess :)*
